A satellite that was designed to monitor carbon dioxide (that molecule that causes "global warming") somehow crashed into the ocean before it reached orbit. I say "somehow" because it's obvious that someone sabotaged this thing to prevent all those crazy liberal environmentalists from getting proof that global warming is real. Not that it actually is--everyone knows that this satellite would just manufacture data that scientists could spin to produce the results they want. Not today NASA, not today. Good try though. And thanks for wasting $278 million of my dollars on this little
Wow. I went a little overboard with the italics today, didn't I?
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