Tag, you're... HEY, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO TAG?

A Virginia elementary school outside of Washington, DC has BANNED TAG. Okay. This. Goes. Too. Far.

Principal Robyn Hooker enacted the ban because the game has gotten out of hand and become a game "of intense aggression." Clearly Ms. Hooker must have had an extremely sheltered childhood.

Later in the article, which comes by way of the Washington Post, "Many schools nationwide have whittled down playground activities in response to concerns about injuries, bullying or litigation. Dodge ball is a thing of the past in many places, and contact sports are often limited at recess."

When I grew up tag was an aggressive sport. As was dodge ball, or the game we called "execution" that involved a tennis ball, a giant wall, and plugging people in the back that couldn't catch. Dodge ball was even sanctioned IN GYM CLASS. Considering I wasn't the best (but far from the worst) athelete in school, I took my share of "pluggings," but I think it was an important part of growing up.
Denying children from playing these "rough" games, and other stupid things like giving EVERYONE a trophy in team sport leagues is sheltering children from important life lessons... like: NOT EVERYONE WINS IN LIFE! Sometimes you will and sometimes you won't, and when you don't, you're NOT GOING TO GET A FUCKING TROPHY. And when you do win, you're also not going to get a trophy, except maybe of the wife variety.