hey, tubby... over here. you may want to read this

After riding on the local public transportation system last night for a while, walking around "downtown" and then reading this article from yesterday's washington post, I am now afraid more and more people are going to be showing up at front doors across the US not knowing their names and thinking that they are home. Oh, and they'll be fat.

Apparently having a "big belly" increases your risk (in some cases by over 350 percent) for suffering from dementia later in life. (WAPO)

Seeing as how we're one of the fattest countries in the world, (Of which Nauru leads the list with an UNBELIEVABLE 94.5 percent obesity level. and, um, Where the fuck is Nauru anyway?) for god's sake, please, to EIGN's larger brethren, STOP EATING.